Divorce parties have been gaining in popularity over the past few years and, based on a recent story in The New York Times, are becoming more socially acceptable. Charles Bronfman, the former chairman of the Seagram Company, and his soon to be ex-wife Bonnie are throwing themselves a joint divorce party. Married just three years, the couple recently sent out invitations to 100 of their friends to celebrate the upcoming unraveling of their marital bounds.
Wow, attitudes about divorce sure have changed. Getting a divorce used to carry the stigma of failure, even 10 years ago when I went through it. But now, there are stores stocked with all of the necessary supplies to throw a rip roaring divorce party including a blinking "Just Divorced" satin sash, buttons proclaiming "Next Time I'll Marry for Money" and even cakes topped with a beheaded groom.
I didn't throw a divorce party when mine was made official. No “Just Divorced” balloons dragging from the back of my station wagon. No DJ playing Gloria Gaynor's female rite of passage "I Will Survive." I hardly thought that it was a cause for celebration even though it was the right thing for me. No, I didn't do anything but head home and hug my kids. And while I did think it was important to take steps to close that chapter in my life, I marked this life-altering change in my own way. I had my bedroom repainted and treated myself to a new set of sheets and towels.
And sure, I can think of a scenario where a divorce could be celebrated. Escaping an abusive marriage would definitely be one of them but even that is still tinged with sadness for the pain the abused spouse had to suffer. But again, not a reason to celebrate.
I re-married five years after my divorce, because even after not getting right the first time, I still believed that marriage is a sacred and serious vow. And the end of it is not cause for celebration. I can envision, one day, my ex-husband and I throwing a party together. It'll be on the occasion of our daughter’s wedding. And that will be something to celebrate.
Would you celebrate your divorce by throwing a party with, or without, your ex-husband?
Image via Divorce Party Supply